I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
