I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Randomize