I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
