I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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