Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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