You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
