The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
