I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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