the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
