better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You are the jesus of drinking
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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