You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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