Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
