Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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