So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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