He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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