wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
