At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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