so explain again why im purple
no
Apparently you make a good broom.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
