Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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