how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
