apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
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