Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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