hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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