Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
