Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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