There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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