literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize