Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
