a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
