Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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