I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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