so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Let's get the cat blown out
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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