I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
