One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
