take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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