I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
im calling her cock vulture from now on
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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