school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
