I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
