Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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