Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
