did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
