You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
