We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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