Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
