Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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