the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
