What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
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Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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