Just mADE A PArabola og urine
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
