I must be too annoying 4 u.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
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