I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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