My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize