The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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