After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
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Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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