party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
