pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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