sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
