Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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